Imagination #5

"They'll be here any moment. Sameer said they already left." Arbi said. She was so excited. I was out of breathe. All of this seemed so unusual. I had imagined this moment a lot of times inside my head, but it was nothing nearer to what was happening. I can't explain how was I feeling. It was.. Something that.. I don't know what. 

"I'm so happy for you Aamna." Arbi said like every other friend says when they see something good happening to you. She hugged me tight and kissed my forehead. She looked at me, "You look beautiful. I can't believe this is finally happening. You are getting married!" she said with tiny droplets trying to flow off her narrow eyes. 

"Oh c'mon, don't be so emotional. I'm not going to a place from where I won't return."

"But you won't be my friend like before. You'll be Ali's wife first and then everything else. You won't be calling me every now and then to talk about your silly ideas. We won't hangout every other day just like that. I cannot tease you with any other guy's name except Ali. Ah! That's so boring. God! This makes me feel horrible" she acted pissed.

"Haha! Arbi.. You are talking as if I'm cutting off with the world." 

"This is the same thing. Remember what we talked about marriage last year?"

"Ofcourse. I can't forget it. It's one time suicide attempt where you are saved and you still die! That line was so idiotic"

"But it defines it well."

"Yeah."

"Auuhh.. I'm gonna miss you soooo much."

"Me too dear."

We hugged again. These moments never end. Even I was a bit sad. Getting married isn't all that easy.

"I'll just see if everything's done. Try not to cry. I'll be Back in ten."she gave me a smile. "Hehe. Okay" I said.

I was all alone in my room. I looked at myself in the mirror. I looked different. So much of jewelry, heavy embroided dress, Make-up.. My room was decorated. I loved it. 'Going to be somebody's wife in some time. How you feeling Ms.Aamna Fatiha. All set?' I asked myself. 

*Hoti hai subah, Teri galiyon ke same tujhe pata na chale* My phone rang. Who would be calling me now? May be some old friend. 

I looked at my phone; unknown number flashing. I answered it. 

"Hello." No one replied back. "Hello? Hellooo." Still no one replied. I looked at the number and tried to remember if I know it, but no luck.

"Hello! Who is this? Hellooooo." I said loudly this time.

"Didn't find it important to inform me? When did I become such a stranger to you?" the person said from the other side. I was stuck when I heard his voice. How could he call me now? ..... Now? After so much of time? After two long years. I couldn't speak anything. My mouth was wide and nothing came out. I held my hand over my mouth and covered it. Slowly, I tried to speak.

"Zaid? " I gasped.

"Aamna." he said with blank emotion. 

"I... You... How,.. How are you?" I was on the verge of crying.

"How could I be without you by my side? " A tear fell from my left eye. I didn't know what to say. I kept mum.

"Ali seems to be a good guy. I guess you like him ha? Happy?" He said with a tone of calmness and arrogance mixed in an unhealthy way.

"Y-y-y-yes I'm happy. I like him. He is a good guy." I sobbed.

"Even now I can't hear you mention love. I distinctly remember you mentioning love to be the strongest reason for someone to get married. Are you drifting away from your own principles now? Your rules! Don't they come ask you questions now when you oppose them? Don't they ask you about me?"

I was completely broke. My life was going to change and my past has come over again. I didn't know how to react. We were best of friends. Everyone in the group thought we were going around, but we weren't. I didn't want to be in any relation back then. I felt he liked me more than a friend but he never said that to me. So I tried to get over the emotion and the feelings I had for him. Arbi told me once that she thinks Zaid likes me. But I fluffed it off and told her there was nothing like that. I never accepted the feeling I had for him. I always tried to avoid him. 

He was still on the line. Did he expect me to apologize for not telling him what I felt? Didn't he owe me one, as he himself never agreed to it.

"Aamna, I know you have got feelings for me and this is not friendship. Two years back I didn't realize. But now, i know."

"Zaid. It's too late."

"I know it is. But, .. Just one question. Did you love me? Anytime?"

"I did. There was a time when I really wanted to be with you. I was waiting for you to tell me that."

"I thought you didn't. I thought if I confess you would break our friendship as well. "

"Even if I didn't love you , I would have never broken our friendship. You never knew me. You never understood."

"I'm sorry. I.. "

"I hate you for not telling it back then. Our story could have been something different."

"There is still some time."

"No, there isn't. Ali trusts me. I might not love him that way but I know my lord will make me do it. I know he is the one."

"I.. I would still wait for you."

"No. Don't. I would never come back. Coz you didn't come back when I expected you to. I will miss you always."

"I'll miss you too. "

I disconnected the call. I couldn't sum up the whole thing that just happened. A person whom I loved but couldn't confess, proposed to me on my wedding day. The day when I was going to get married to somebody else. My head was aching. Why did he call now? Wasn't I already feeling worse knowing the fact I missed the best person of my life? I hated myself for not confessing it. The fear of rejection never allowed me to try. And now.. Now, when I know, he loves me, makes me feel terrible. I couldn't look at myself again in the mirror. 

Arbi came in and looked at me. I was crying. She ran towards me and asked why was I crying so badly. I just said one word and she understood the whole thing, 'Zaid'. 

#StyZie