Imagination #5

"They'll be here any moment. Sameer said they already left." Arbi said. She was so excited. I was out of breathe. All of this seemed so unusual. I had imagined this moment a lot of times inside my head, but it was nothing nearer to what was happening. I can't explain how was I feeling. It was.. Something that.. I don't know what. 

"I'm so happy for you Aamna." Arbi said like every other friend says when they see something good happening to you. She hugged me tight and kissed my forehead. She looked at me, "You look beautiful. I can't believe this is finally happening. You are getting married!" she said with tiny droplets trying to flow off her narrow eyes. 

"Oh c'mon, don't be so emotional. I'm not going to a place from where I won't return."

"But you won't be my friend like before. You'll be Ali's wife first and then everything else. You won't be calling me every now and then to talk about your silly ideas. We won't hangout every other day just like that. I cannot tease you with any other guy's name except Ali. Ah! That's so boring. God! This makes me feel horrible" she acted pissed.

"Haha! Arbi.. You are talking as if I'm cutting off with the world." 

"This is the same thing. Remember what we talked about marriage last year?"

"Ofcourse. I can't forget it. It's one time suicide attempt where you are saved and you still die! That line was so idiotic"

"But it defines it well."

"Yeah."

"Auuhh.. I'm gonna miss you soooo much."

"Me too dear."

We hugged again. These moments never end. Even I was a bit sad. Getting married isn't all that easy.

"I'll just see if everything's done. Try not to cry. I'll be Back in ten."she gave me a smile. "Hehe. Okay" I said.

I was all alone in my room. I looked at myself in the mirror. I looked different. So much of jewelry, heavy embroided dress, Make-up.. My room was decorated. I loved it. 'Going to be somebody's wife in some time. How you feeling Ms.Aamna Fatiha. All set?' I asked myself. 

*Hoti hai subah, Teri galiyon ke same tujhe pata na chale* My phone rang. Who would be calling me now? May be some old friend. 

I looked at my phone; unknown number flashing. I answered it. 

"Hello." No one replied back. "Hello? Hellooo." Still no one replied. I looked at the number and tried to remember if I know it, but no luck.

"Hello! Who is this? Hellooooo." I said loudly this time.

"Didn't find it important to inform me? When did I become such a stranger to you?" the person said from the other side. I was stuck when I heard his voice. How could he call me now? ..... Now? After so much of time? After two long years. I couldn't speak anything. My mouth was wide and nothing came out. I held my hand over my mouth and covered it. Slowly, I tried to speak.

"Zaid? " I gasped.

"Aamna." he said with blank emotion. 

"I... You... How,.. How are you?" I was on the verge of crying.

"How could I be without you by my side? " A tear fell from my left eye. I didn't know what to say. I kept mum.

"Ali seems to be a good guy. I guess you like him ha? Happy?" He said with a tone of calmness and arrogance mixed in an unhealthy way.

"Y-y-y-yes I'm happy. I like him. He is a good guy." I sobbed.

"Even now I can't hear you mention love. I distinctly remember you mentioning love to be the strongest reason for someone to get married. Are you drifting away from your own principles now? Your rules! Don't they come ask you questions now when you oppose them? Don't they ask you about me?"

I was completely broke. My life was going to change and my past has come over again. I didn't know how to react. We were best of friends. Everyone in the group thought we were going around, but we weren't. I didn't want to be in any relation back then. I felt he liked me more than a friend but he never said that to me. So I tried to get over the emotion and the feelings I had for him. Arbi told me once that she thinks Zaid likes me. But I fluffed it off and told her there was nothing like that. I never accepted the feeling I had for him. I always tried to avoid him. 

He was still on the line. Did he expect me to apologize for not telling him what I felt? Didn't he owe me one, as he himself never agreed to it.

"Aamna, I know you have got feelings for me and this is not friendship. Two years back I didn't realize. But now, i know."

"Zaid. It's too late."

"I know it is. But, .. Just one question. Did you love me? Anytime?"

"I did. There was a time when I really wanted to be with you. I was waiting for you to tell me that."

"I thought you didn't. I thought if I confess you would break our friendship as well. "

"Even if I didn't love you , I would have never broken our friendship. You never knew me. You never understood."

"I'm sorry. I.. "

"I hate you for not telling it back then. Our story could have been something different."

"There is still some time."

"No, there isn't. Ali trusts me. I might not love him that way but I know my lord will make me do it. I know he is the one."

"I.. I would still wait for you."

"No. Don't. I would never come back. Coz you didn't come back when I expected you to. I will miss you always."

"I'll miss you too. "

I disconnected the call. I couldn't sum up the whole thing that just happened. A person whom I loved but couldn't confess, proposed to me on my wedding day. The day when I was going to get married to somebody else. My head was aching. Why did he call now? Wasn't I already feeling worse knowing the fact I missed the best person of my life? I hated myself for not confessing it. The fear of rejection never allowed me to try. And now.. Now, when I know, he loves me, makes me feel terrible. I couldn't look at myself again in the mirror. 

Arbi came in and looked at me. I was crying. She ran towards me and asked why was I crying so badly. I just said one word and she understood the whole thing, 'Zaid'. 

#StyZie 

Still Waiting....

I was in depressed state as I walked through the stairs... "what has happened to him?? Why do I feel like I'm ignored??" were the questions running in my mind...

"Meshal..!!" Riya screamed. I looked at her. She was breathing heavily and ran towards me with a big smile.

I switched my mind to present situation and wore a confusing smile on my face. She caught my hand and dragged me to a corner, "guess what?" she asked. I gave her a confusing look because I had no idea what made her so happy that day. "Sorry buddy, I couldn't say you but today I can't control... It's been a week, me and Rehan are in contact." I still stood giving confusing look to her and further enquired if she was confirmed about the person being Rehan . She showed me his pictures and made me hear his voice as proof. I gave her a teasing smile and she blushed.

Rehan was just a normal guy.. Cute.. Shy.. Innocent.. Always smiling.. Ambitious and crush of some girls including my friend as well.

I neither said anybody about him nor he knew who I was. He was the first person to start the conversation. I usually don't reply to anybody but I replied to him. He seemed different and may be I just wanted to know him more. We used to chat about college,, studies..different stuffs.. We had late night chats. Texted each other every moment when we were off.. We laughed .. We teased.. Everything was going well until..he stopped replying. I texted him every time but..

I was worried.. Then atlast at midnight he texted 'How are you?'. As I had kept message tone on, I could wake up and texted him back but unfortunately he didn't reply.. This went for days but I never stopped texting him.. As I missed him I read out all our old conversation and smiled and cared..

A week after this when Riya told me he was texting her I was broke completely. It wasn't his fault but mine.. I was the one who got attracted to him. I made myself a toy and he played whenever he wanted.. 

But I made up my mind as this won't go for long because I will leave his world and live mine. I know I will wait for him until I lose all my hopes..

Story credits and write up: -me$hal-

Editing: StyZie

You Go Girl..!!

Back now with some inspirational thoughts of my own. Yes..! Today there is no romantic imagination but this is well, related to it. It's not easy for me to come out of that pink sky weather with all the white petals falling all over. Half of my time actually goes into thinking about how my story would be. And I don't regret that I waste so much of time thinking about silly things,. What's life without thinking about yourself? So girls, this one is for you all.. 

Some points indicating your world revolves around him.. :P

* If you find his flirting with you is fun and if you like it, then girl go on..!

* You wait for him to reply even though he takes more than an hour.

* You have an habit of checking his FB profile, Whatsapp status and even his blog ( if he has one) atleast once in two days.

* When he turns up, it's hard for you not to look at him.

* You secretly try to find out if he is talking to any other girls lately. Jealous ha..!

* Its kinda off-day if you don't find his text waiting up for you.

* He can make you smile instantly, no matter how sad you are.

* You always stand up for him. Even if you know that he is wrong somewhere, you try to defend him. 

* You try to find wit in all of his sentences. You even like the 'hmmmm' that he sends. :D ( that's idiotic but this is how it is :P)

Normally sites having all these kinda points have this written at the last:

" that one guy was always on your mind, when you were going through these points.."

But what if there were two guys hovering over.. :P just a case.

 So girls, forget all that is written above. Love is not something to be judged and calculated. It's a feeling. Something beyond explanation. 

God has already made up pairs and you are going to end up with him only. The path that makes you meet him, the way you fall for him and in short your love story is already written. No matter how hard you try, you won't know until God thinks its time. And as we all know, God always wins. 

For the girls who are heart-broken right now, I have something to say.

Everyone that you meet in your life has got some purpose. Some come to make you happy and some to teach you a lesson. 

May be you love him more than he did Or may be he was never what you thought him to be. Rewind all the things again, go through his texts; did he really mean all that he said? 

Girl, you definitely deserve something better. God knows you more than yourself and he knows just what is best for you. 

Trust me..! He is already waiting for you somewhere. That guy.! That guy you are destined to meet. 

And anyways, tears don’t suit those beautiful eyes. No guy can make you cry and have those dark circles ruin your face. 

Live your life, like how you want it to be, like how you dreamt it to be; with a bit of courage and a lot of hope. Pack your bag of sorrows, burn it up and throw it down the lane. Your room is too cool to have such stupid things around. And as our own PM has initiated the 'Swatch Bharath' movement, it's time we follow it too… Open up your cupboard, shuffle through it, throw out the old stuff and go hit the malls. Dress up, apply that more-than-required gloss, wear your sneakers and run out. You just wouldn't want to miss the beautiful sky up there. It looks awesome!

Lastly, don't stop dreaming. Have faith in your lord. He knows what's best for you and you are his favorite creation. He wouldn't want you to ruin that beautiful face, he carved out. Smile would fit in better there. And remember, life has just begun..!

Keep smiling. Be yourself

#StyZie

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