FanGirl

I went on replying him, he went on texting me. I couldn’t confer him what he wanted and he could not accept my ‘no’s. I could see the friendship getting devastated with the guy whom I was fond of. I ran out of words and yet he wasn’t out of his feelings. I pleaded him and he pleaded me back. I did not want to end our friendship; he wanted to start a new relation.

I stopped replying to him as I heard my mom calling me. On one side, there was a relationship which was going to break, on the other side, there was a relation carried on for decades. I ran to the kitchen, helping my mom with the household chores. I tried hard to finish it soon and go back to save the other relationship, but the time wasn’t permitting me to. My mom asked me to sit with everyone and have dinner; give family some time. I could see a hot dish coming out of bowl, which by looks, seemed spicy. I forced the food through my throat which revolted with every other bit. A tough day didn’t go well with the ever delicious food prepared by my mom. After finishing my food, I thought of moving away and using my cell phone as I was sure, he might have thought I was running away when he wished me to be by his side for now. But this time, the devil played its role again. I had to wash all the dishes, clean the kitchen and go back to the passage to spend some more time with the family. While everyone went on talking, I began to feel helpless and suddenly from nowhere my mom remembered about ice cream. I couldn’t refuse it and the sweetness made me feel bitterer from inside. I faked my smiles and spoke loudly just to show that I was enjoying the day.

At last I could excuse myself and I ran to my room to check my cell phone. There were numerous messages and with those he left me. I texted him but he didn’t reply back. Everything ended… I checked my cell phone, till the Wi-Fi went off. I didn’t even know if my messages were read or not.

Lights of the whole town were off, except the street lights which glowed dimly, separated with minimal distance. Cool breeze blew on my face as I watched the surroundings through my window. The wind tried to calm me but each time it touched my face, I felt fear. A terrible fear… How fast did the time elapse? Or maybe it wasn’t our time, after all.

Yesterday we met, today we departed. Yesterday we were strangers but connected to each other by views. And today, we departed as friends, connected to each other by heart. The good thing about yesterday is that it was special which made the worst about today glare out brighter.

I wonder, what was his mistake? Loving me? Respecting my views? Accepting who I was? I guess I was totally wrong for him. The guy whom I met yesterday, whose views attracted me, whose words touched my soul, whose fan I had become was the same guy who felt the same for me. I wished we were brought up in the same country and the same city and that I could be in his destiny.

Jamal, you may not know this; you made me realize that I shouldn’t underestimate myself and that, there are some people who can accept me for who I am. You made me love myself, and made me know myself more. The love might not be able to shower upon us, but the friendship was worth its rain. I went to my bed and prayed dearly before I closed my eyes. I cheered myself up telling, that hopefully there exists another life. I wish to be born as your fan girl again.

#faNGiRl

Write Up: -me$hal-

Editing: StyZie

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