'Crap, not this question.' I said to myself
with a tone of discouragement. I was attending my Second preparatory
examination of class 10. It was the Physical Education (P.E) subject which was
all about sports. Apart from that, it had portions dealing with fitness,
nutrition and diseases and that was were I struggled.
That question made me go mad. I had to
attempt it as I had no idea about the rest. My friend had told something, but I
couldn't remember what. It was on the left page in the textbook. Words written
in black against a light grey background. I had folded that page in order to
glance over at the last moment. I remember every detail, except,what was
written. This is what happens all the time and I hate it.
Suchita was sitting at my left and Rayyan to
my right. I turned here and there. Rayyan seemed clueless, the entire time. Our
chairs weren't that far but I couldn't see anything written. I had showed my
answers and helped some, but never had I asked for help. The reason was that I
was too afraid by the thought of getting caught and secondly, I didn't actually
know how to copy. It isn't that easy with a strict invigilator around who is in
search of that one prey. I had to get out of it. I needed that mark and had no
other option. I turned to my left in hope that Suchi might know the answer. I
somehow grabbed her attention. I didn't mutter anything, just turned my paper
and tried to show her the question by pointing my pen at it. I looked up and
man! That moment. The invigilator had been observing me the whole time. It was
that one moment when I froze completely. Chills ran down my spine. I was scared
to death. I was still in that position. He shouted from the other end of the
class,"You! Stop there." I was hoping that he had shouted at Rayyan.
Actually, everyone in the class thought the same. Even he thought it was for him
and he was stunned, preparing himself to answer.
The invigilator was none other than our
beloved Vice Principal, Mr.Johnson (We called him V.P back then). He was my
favorite for two reasons; firstly, he taught English (most loved subject of
mine) and secondly, I loved the way he expressed the stories. He walked past
the students to our side. To everybody's astonishment he didn't stop at
Rayyan's table; he stopped at mine.
We were all sitting in those chairs where you
have a wooden plank attached to write over. He leaned and held the chair with
both his hands. "Did you copy?" he asked without much of emotion in
his voice. He didn't sound angry neither was he calm. "I'm asking you
again. Did you copy?"
"N....No sir."
"Don't lie. I'm asking you again. Tell
me the truth or else I won't let you write."
"No sir. I didn't."
"Get up. You are not writing the exam
any further."
"Sir, but I.."
"Shut up. I saw you copying."
"No sir, I didn't. I just asked her but
she didn't show anything. You can ask her sir." (what a stupid line. I was
such an idiot back then.)
"I do not want to ask anything to
anyone. I don't want to know if she showed. Just answer in yes or no."
"I tried to."
"That's it. Don't do it again."
"O..Ok sir."
He went back straight to the right most
corner of the class. I simply scribbled and tried not to look at him. Whole of
the class had heard the conversation. I felt so embarrassed and stunned at the
same time, that I... Thaseen had just been caught while copying. Everyone had
this concept of me being the 'good, silent shy' girl and after this I was sure
my image had gone deep down. Everyone would call me a copycat (that's what we
call the one who copied, right). I couldn't concentrate on what I was writing.
I just managed not to cry. Thankfully, exam ended in another fifteen
minutes.
I was an above average student but after this
I felt no less than the failures. I couldn't even copy properly (What a
shame!). My friends swarmed up at me to know what exactly happened. I was about
to narrate it to them when a guy told me that V.P wants to see me in his cabin.
'Dead' that's what I murmured on hearing his words.
His cabin was in the other block. Never in my
entire school life had any teacher had a complaint against me. I was not the
first benchers type but I was surely the one who completed home works and
projects on time. I shivered with every step I took. He was probably going to
complaint about it to the principal or worse, my parents.
'What am I going to say? Should I even say
anything? Oh god! Please help me.' I was really nervous. Another turn to the
left and I'm there. I took a deep breathe,"Whatever it is, be confident.
Don't talk much, just listen and try not to make a scene."
I went near the door. He was sitting in his
chair with his specs on. "Excuse me sir."
"Come in." I went in and stood few
inches away from the table. He removed his glasses and looked at me as if
expecting a apology. I wondered if I should say something or wait for him to
start. I finally broke the silence,"I... I'm sorry sir."
"Are you really sorry for what you
did."
I was shocked by that. I didn't know if I was
genuinely sorry. I did feel a bit guilty but some part of me said it wasn't
wrong.
"I didn't copy sir. She didn't even show
me." I couldn't say anything better.
"Look, it isn't about copying. It is
about what you wanted to do. This is not the right way. You might pass by doing
that, but you'll never be content."
'Content? Of course I will be content. After
all, passing is all that matters.' I thought but didn't say.
"You being such a good student tried to
copy, how shameful is that. In life, we have lot of things to take care of. But
it is up to us, how we deal with it. I am not saying that you are the only one
who did this, but I'm surprised that you attempted such a thing. I thought you
to be a nice girl. Expected so much from you Thaseen."
I almost had tears. Somewhere I had a lot of
respect for him as a person and he was one of those from whom I was inspired.
He, telling me all this was unexpected. He was calm and had a sense if
soothingness in his voice.
" I catch a lot of students copying and
I don't call everyone to my cabin. I know what you are and your capabilities I
know you are a good girl. But remember, to become something good, takes
decades, whereas, only a minute is enough to destroy it all."
I was among those who never raised their
hands in the class, even though, they knew the answer. I was never in the
limelight. And this person had so much of hopes from me. Knowing the fact that
you broke somebody's trust was worst.
"Yes. Sir. I'm sorry i would never
do that again." My voice was heavy as my throat was full now. I had tears
but tried as much as possible to not break down.
"I expect that from you."
"I'm sorry." I repeated
again.
"You may leave now." I gave a
slight nod and left. I walked slowly down the corridor and looked out through
the window. I couldn't sum up all that he said to me. Until now, I never knew
that he thought like that about me. I don't know if all that he said was
genuine or if he said that just to make me realize my mistakes. But, that one
moment made me realize that I wasn't just anybody. I had a life which expected
something good. I can't do it all just because somebody else is doing. I cried
and instantly wiped it all. I didn't want to tell about that to anyone. I
returned to the class and tried to act normal. Some of my friends inquired but
I shooed the topic.
After that incident, V.P used to call me by
the word 'copy'. Yes, I got a nickname. Only he called me that way (every
time). It became more like a funny incident.
Someday I would want to meet him again. May
be he forgot my name. But I'm sure, he would recognize me as the girl who
copied.
He was one of the best teachers Green Valley
had. One of the finest. And I'm glad that he knew the true me and told me all
those things. I still remember his classes. Especially, the narration of he
story 'The Monkey's Paw'. It was splendid.
If by any chance you are reading this Sir, I
would want to thank you for those fifteen minutes of guidance. It meant a lot.
:)
#V.P #G.V.N.S #2010-11 batch
#Copy #TG
#StyZie
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